On Trust and Anger

In an instant, a decision was made. It was a hasty one though.



At first, it all went well. I was “happy” then. I thought I could control my feelings just so I won’t hurt someone else. And, I thought I have learned how to do it, but I was wrong.



Soon, I can’t even tolerate that person’s behavior. Seeing that person became so annoying. It’s as if every move, every word that comes out from the mouth, every gesture, gets through my nerves. Again, I become really annoyed. So I decided to end everything that is going on between us.



I thought, after that, we could be friends. But again, I was wrong. There was never a day that we didn’t speak to each other frankly. Whenever I would say anything, that person would just reply with an even angrier tone. And I would reply with an angrier tone… And the fight will go on.



Sometimes, I just want to slap that person in the face and tell that person that I am feeling really violated by the way that person speaks at me, but I simply can’t. I know I am doing the same thing to that person. And a fight will soon rise again.



Our world is a silly place. The person you might just think could be your best friend turns out to be one of your enemies. As we grow older, we realize that it also becomes harder for us to trust everything to someone because any person whom we think can be our pal can just turn his/her back on us and spill our secrets. It’s harder to fight with someone who knows your weakness. But I’m glad that sometimes, I just can’t really show my true self to someone. Probably my mind knows whom to trust, even if my heart sometimes contradicts it.